











The smiling gent you see on the front cover is John Montagu,
the fourth Earl of Sandwich. If he’s grinning it might
be because he’s famous, saved from oblivion by the way
he liked to snack, with a slab of salt beef stuffed between
two pieces of toast. Or maybe it’s because he’s just won big.
The earl was such a degenerate gambler that he once stayed
at the wagering tables twenty-four hours straight, which
is why he invented the sandwich in the first place—so he
wouldn’t have to get up.
The Earl of Sandwich is famous for being the man
behind a word that most people never thought was named
after anyone, a man both anonymous and eponymous or, to
coin a term, anonyponymous.
As a word, eponymous is a bit anonymous itself. Its
moment in the sun came with the release of REM’s album
Eponymous, a subtle dig at musicians who name records
after themselves, such as Peter Gabriel, whose first four
albums are all entitled Peter Gabriel. In short, an eponym is
anything that’s ever been named after anybody. The title of
an autobiography, the name of a legal firm, Mercedes-Benz,
Washington State—anything.
But eponymy doesn’t necessarily involve the conscious
act of naming. An eponym can also be a word that explodes
into the language because of who a person is or what he or
she did, often to that person’s dismay. For how this happens,
here’s a firsthand account by Dr. Frasier Crane, as told to
Sam Malone in an episode of Cheers:
Frasier, explaining being left at the altar: The story of my
humiliation spread like wildfire through the university,
and then to the entire Italian countryside. Everyone
knew about it, everyone knew about my shame.
Sam: Naw—you must have been imagining that.
Frasier: Oh, was I? Do you know that in soccer, when a
player kicks at the ball, misses, and falls down, it’s now
called a Frasier?
Sam: That could be a coincidence.
Frasier: If he’s knocked cold, it’s called a Frasier Crane.
Names often get used in this type of descriptive shorthand,
like with, “That kid’s a real Einstein,” or, “He pulled
a Bernie Madoff.” But a name only crosses into true wordhood
once it is no longer used as a reference. When we speak
of hectoring wives and philandering husbands, it is without
a picture of valiant Hector or lover-boy Philander popping
into our minds, the way a bespectacled Viennese man with
a pipe does when we say “Freudian slip.” To be considered
anonyponymous, a word must pass the Viennese pipe test.
So what are the other criteria? First, that the word be
an eponym, the determining of which can present more of
a challenge than you might think. Like most New Yorkers,
I long believed the Outerbridge Crossing got its name
from being the bridge farthest from downtown, and was
shocked to learn that it instead honored Eugenius Harvey
Outerbridge. Outerbridge is an example of the perfectly
well-suited name, or aptronym, and whether a person is
eponym or aptronym can be a chicken-or-the-egg proposition.
Sometimes a famous name mirrors an existing term
and reinforces it, as might have happened with Philadelphia
whiskey maker E. G. Booz. There also lurks the possibility of
nominative determinism, when someone’s name influences
what they become—perhaps what drove Learned Hand to
become one of the most influential justices in U.S. history.
The other half of the equation—the anonymous
part—cannot be decided absolutely, as everyone’s knowledge
is different. Most readers will know some of the characters
in the following pages; the hope is that all the figures
will be a surprise for the majority of readers. My editor
thought Guy Fawkes had become too familiar due to the V
for Vendetta mask, but I had never seen the movie. I since
have, but not everyone has made the same mistake. Age is a
big dividing line, and what is an eponym to one generation
will be an anonyponym for the next. On the brink is a word
like hoover, gaining traction as a verb meaning to suck something
up. Its vibrant onomatopoeic quality almost assures
its continued use among those ignorant of its origins, but I
can never get out of my mind that it’s the name of a vacuum
manufacturer, so it failed the Viennese pipe test.
Not everyone who qualifies under the rules made it
into the book, of course. In general, I preferred naturally
occurring, Frasier Crane–type eponyms, so mythological
figures and fictional characters were preferred to inventors
and scientists: hence the absence of such delightful names
as Henry J. Heimlich (maneuver), Robert Wilhelm Bunsen
(burner), and Fernand Lamaze (class). Finally, there were
those people who didn’t qualify but I included anyway, such
as the Marquis de Sade (because how could I leave out the
Marquis de Sade?).
One person I didn’t feel comfortable bending the rules
for was our friend the Earl of Sandwich, who has become
famous for his very obscurity. I do, however, want to propose
the earl as patron saint of the anonyponymous. His
example shows that there is hope for the forgotten figures
populating the following pages, that perhaps their lives can
also be pulled out of the shadows of history for the wider
world to recognize. It’s fair to ask, however, why should
they be?
All words are abstractions. But words also have histories,
and by unwinding them, we gain access to the hidden
richness of our language. The absolute origins of words
are for the most part unknowable; what makes eponyms
extraordinary is that we can point to the moment of their
birth and to the lives of the people from whom they sprang.
But why anonyponyms? Blame Etienne de Silhouette.
When I looked up the etymology of the word silhouette and saw his name, I thought a virus had somehow infected
my copy of the OED. It seemed like a prank, and indeed,
Monsieur Silhouette and many of the other folks herein
would see their peculiar fame as exactly that. In the
anonyponymous, biographical history and the dictionary
intersect in the realm of the ridiculous—and also of the
remarkable, the delightful, and the fascinating.
I hope you enjoy these words and the people behind
them as much as I have.
The smiling gent you see on the front cover is John Montagu,
the fourth Earl of Sandwich. If he’s grinning it might
be because he’s famous, saved from oblivion by the way
he liked to snack, with a slab of salt beef stuffed between
two pieces of toast. Or maybe it’s because he’s just won big.
The earl was such a degenerate gambler that he once stayed
at the wagering tables twenty-four hours straight, which
is why he invented the sandwich in the first place—so he
wouldn’t have to get up.
The Earl of Sandwich is famous for being the man
behind a word that most people never thought was named
after anyone, a man both anonymous and eponymous or, to
coin a term, anonyponymous.
As a word, eponymous is a bit anonymous itself. Its
moment in the sun came with the release of REM’s album
Eponymous, a subtle dig at musicians who name records
after themselves, such as Peter Gabriel, whose first four
albums are all entitled Peter Gabriel. In short, an eponym is
anything that’s ever been named after anybody. The title of
an autobiography, the name of a legal firm, Mercedes-Benz,
Washington State—anything.
But eponymy doesn’t necessarily involve the conscious
act of naming. An eponym can also be a word that explodes
into the language because of who a person is or what he or
she did, often to that person’s dismay. For how this happens,
here’s a firsthand account by Dr. Frasier Crane, as told to
Sam Malone in an episode of Cheers:
Frasier, explaining being left at the altar: The story of my
humiliation spread like wildfire through the university,
and then to the entire Italian countryside. Everyone
knew about it, everyone knew about my shame.
Sam: Naw—you must have been imagining that.
Frasier: Oh, was I? Do you know that in soccer, when a
player kicks at the ball, misses, and falls down, it’s now
called a Frasier?
Sam: That could be a coincidence.
Frasier: If he’s knocked cold, it’s called a Frasier Crane.
Names often get used in this type of descriptive shorthand,
like with, “That kid’s a real Einstein,” or, “He pulled
a Bernie Madoff.” But a name only crosses into true wordhood
once it is no longer used as a reference. When we speak
of hectoring wives and philandering husbands, it is without
a picture of valiant Hector or lover-boy Philander popping
into our minds, the way a bespectacled Viennese man with
a pipe does when we say “Freudian slip.” To be considered
anonyponymous, a word must pass the Viennese pipe test.
So what are the other criteria? First, that the word be
an eponym, the determining of which can present more of
a challenge than you might think. Like most New Yorkers,
I long believed the Outerbridge Crossing got its name
from being the bridge farthest from downtown, and was
shocked to learn that it instead honored Eugenius Harvey
Outerbridge. Outerbridge is an example of the perfectly
well-suited name, or aptronym, and whether a person is
eponym or aptronym can be a chicken-or-the-egg proposition.
Sometimes a famous name mirrors an existing term
and reinforces it, as might have happened with Philadelphia
whiskey maker E. G. Booz. There also lurks the possibility of
nominative determinism, when someone’s name influences
what they become—perhaps what drove Learned Hand to
become one of the most influential justices in U.S. history.
The other half of the equation—the anonymous
part—cannot be decided absolutely, as everyone’s knowledge
is different. Most readers will know some of the characters
in the following pages; the hope is that all the figures
will be a surprise for the majority of readers. My editor
thought Guy Fawkes had become too familiar due to the V
for Vendetta mask, but I had never seen the movie. I since
have, but not everyone has made the same mistake. Age is a
big dividing line, and what is an eponym to one generation
will be an anonyponym for the next. On the brink is a word
like hoover, gaining traction as a verb meaning to suck something
up. Its vibrant onomatopoeic quality almost assures
its continued use among those ignorant of its origins, but I
can never get out of my mind that it’s the name of a vacuum
manufacturer, so it failed the Viennese pipe test.
Not everyone who qualifies under the rules made it
into the book, of course. In general, I preferred naturally
occurring, Frasier Crane–type eponyms, so mythological
figures and fictional characters were preferred to inventors
and scientists: hence the absence of such delightful names
as Henry J. Heimlich (maneuver), Robert Wilhelm Bunsen
(burner), and Fernand Lamaze (class). Finally, there were
those people who didn’t qualify but I included anyway, such
as the Marquis de Sade (because how could I leave out the
Marquis de Sade?).
One person I didn’t feel comfortable bending the rules
for was our friend the Earl of Sandwich, who has become
famous for his very obscurity. I do, however, want to propose
the earl as patron saint of the anonyponymous. His
example shows that there is hope for the forgotten figures
populating the following pages, that perhaps their lives can
also be pulled out of the shadows of history for the wider
world to recognize. It’s fair to ask, however, why should
they be?
All words are abstractions. But words also have histories,
and by unwinding them, we gain access to the hidden
richness of our language. The absolute origins of words
are for the most part unknowable; what makes eponyms
extraordinary is that we can point to the moment of their
birth and to the lives of the people from whom they sprang.
But why anonyponyms? Blame Etienne de Silhouette.
When I looked up the etymology of the word silhouette and saw his name, I thought a virus had somehow infected
my copy of the OED. It seemed like a prank, and indeed,
Monsieur Silhouette and many of the other folks herein
would see their peculiar fame as exactly that. In the
anonyponymous, biographical history and the dictionary
intersect in the realm of the ridiculous—and also of the
remarkable, the delightful, and the fascinating.
I hope you enjoy these words and the people behind
them as much as I have.
al·go·rithm n.
A set of rules for solving a problem.
No, the first anonyponymous person in the book is not
Al Gore.
When a word begins with al-, there’s a good chance it comes from Arabic. This is true with alchemy, almanac, al-cove,
alcohol (ironically), and algorithm, named for Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi, or, as his Latin translators
called him, Algorismus. In the early ninth century Baghdad was fast becoming the world’s most important center of trade and learning, and while engaged at its illustrious House of Wisdom, al-Khwarizmi produced his most famous work, The Book of Restoring and Balancing. In it, al-Khwarizmi explained how to solve complex mathematical equations by a method called al-jabr, Arabic for “reunion of broken parts,” which came rendered in Latin as “algebra.” (See about those al- words?) On an even more basic level, al-Khwarizmi was instrumental in the spread of Arabic numerals. Not that he invented them, nor did any Arab; the symbols originated on the Indian subcontinent in the centuries leading up to Christ.
blurb n.
Laudatory praise placed on book jackets in order to sell copies, usu. excessive, usu. written by the author's friends or debtors.
Miss Blinda Blurb was the buxom creation of writer-cartoonist Gelett Burgess, who made fun of the widespread wisdom that sex sells by placing her on the cover of books he handed out at the annual Annual Booksellers Association dinner in 1907. He defined blurb as 'a sound like a publisher.'
An example:
"Anonyponymous is like a one-handed cartwheel: powerful, elegant, and so impressive.'--Meredith Norton, author of Lopsided
dunc n.
A dullard; a dolt; a dum-dum. Duh.
John Duns Scotus was a Scottish theologian and one the
most influential thinkers of the Middle Ages. An ardent
follower of Saint Francis, Duns Scotus spent his career at
the universities of Oxford, Paris, and Cologne. He provided
the definitive argument on the then culture-war
issue of the Immaculate Conception, after which it became
Catholic dogma that Mary was conceived without sin. For
his delicately shaded approach to this and similar difficult
issues he earned the nickname Doctor Subtilis, and his
theories held sway from his 1308 death through the end of
the Middle Ages.
Duns Scotus’s followers, the Scotists, dominated
theology until another gang of scholars, the Thomists
(after Thomas Aquinas), encroached on their turf. These
new philosophers ridiculed the hairsplitting sophistry of
Dr. Subtilis and his Dunsmen, who were impervious to
learning anything new and different. The Scotists reacted
reactionarily, resisting any change that threatened their
preeminence. But their creed lost cred, and in the intellectual
rumble of the Renaissance the elegant theories of
Duns Scotus were knifed on account of his blockhead followers,
and so to be called a dunc became the worst insult
a would-be man of letters could receive, the irony of which
would have been painfully obvious to Dr. Subtilis, if not the
Dunsmen themselves.*
guil·lo·tine n.
A beheading apparatus.
In 1784 at Louis XVI’s invitation the physician Joseph-
Ignace Guillotin joined the commission to investigate Franz
Mesmer; five years and a revolution later, Dr. Guillotin
was elected to a rather different body, the Revolutionary
Assemblée nationale constituante, where he proposed a method
of execution that he believed to be both more dignified
and, with its speedy efficiency, more humane. His suggestion
was adopted, with vigor.
le·o·tard n.
A snugly fitting, stretchable one-piece garment
worn by dancers, gymnasts, and 1980s exercise queens.
When Jumbo arrived in Paris, there was another kind of
circus phenomenon underway. Jules Léotard, the son of a
gymnasium owner, was a novice acrobat when he hit upon
a brilliant idea: how about, instead of doing his routine on
fixed bars, he did it on bars that swung? On November 12,
1859, at the tender age of twenty-one, Léotard made his
public debut at the Cirque-Napoleon in Paris, and in a
single performance created an art form. As if by magic he
passed from one bar to the other, and even executed midair
somersaults between them. With his lady-killing looks and
birdlike abilities, Léotard became an international superstar,
inspiring a Jumbo-like assortment of merchandise as
well as the 1867 song “The Daring Young Man on the Flying
Trapeze.” For his shows, Léotard redesigned the standard
acrobat’s maillot into a flesh-hugging one-piece that both
allowed fluid motion and showed off his show-offable muscles.
It became known as the leotard and quickly found use
in other arenas, such as the ballet studios of Paris.
All this, and poor Jules died at thirty-one.
mav·er·ick n.
An individual who tends to his own
individuality.
Samuel Augustus Maverick was a Yale graduate, lawyer,
Mexican War veteran, and San Antonio mayor who owned
so much Texas real estate they named a county after him.
In the mid-1840s, Maverick accepted a herd of cattle in
exchange for a debt and, not caring much for livestock,
neglected them to the point of allowing calves to wander
about unbranded, a cardinal sin in the free-ranging days
before barbed wire. The lack of a brand became a brand in
itself: Whenever anybody found a stray calf with no markings,
they said, “That there’s a maverick.” Metaphorical
uses soon followed.
A more famous owner of the surname was the fictional
Old West hustler Bret Maverick, played by James Garner
in an excellent 1950s TV show and by Mel Gibson in a less
excellent 1990s movie.
mes·mer·ize v.
To spellbind or enthrall; to captivate.
Franz Anton Mesmer studied medicine in Vienna, writing
his 1766 doctoral dissertation on the gravitational effects
of the planets on the body, a theory then in vogue. Mesmer
went on to become a successful physician with a unique
way of curing people: He would have them swallow a solution
of iron, then pass magnets over their bodies to summon
an “artificial tide” that helped unblock the free flow of
“life fluid.” Blocked life fluid, you see, is bad.
* My own wife is named after Hector’s bride, the princess of Troy, Andromache.
Hi, honey.
Dr. Mesmer soon discovered that he needn’t resort
to outside devices as he had his own “animal magnetism”*
to get life fluids flowing. After an unfortunate incident
with a blind girl, he moved to Paris, where the practice of
Mesmerism became a sensation. With a process of laying
on hands, hypnosis, and suggestion set to the otherworldly
sounds of a glass harmonica (later used in a thousand horror
movies), Mesmer produced trance states in his patients that
provoked convulsions, the desired “crisis” that uncorked
blockages. His mass healings became a happening.
Louis XVI appointed a crack medical commission
to investigate Dr. Mesmer, gathering such luminaries as
U.S. ambassador Benjamin Franklin, creator of Mesmer’s
beloved glass harmonica, and—somewhat ironically for the
monarch—a certain Dr. Guillotin. Their verdict: merde.
nic·o·tine n.
Addictive substance found in tobacco; also
used as an insecticide.
In 1560, ambassador to Portugal Jean Nicot sent a little
something from the New World to the French court back
home as a gift: tobacco. Much as they later would with Dr.
Guillotin’s suggestion, the French took to the new idea
enthusiastically.
pants n.
Pants
Pantaleon was an unmarried physician living in the pagan
Byzantine empire who, by simply invoking the name of Jesus
Christ, could perform miraculous acts such as healing a blind
man. Jealous, Pantaleon’s fellow doctors denounced him to
the emperor, who, himself a patient of Pantaleon’s, asked the
good doctor to give up this Christian nonsense—whereupon
Pantaleon proved the power of God by curing a man of paralysis.
Having witnessed the trick, the emperor condemned
Pantaleon to death for the practice of black magic.
As is the case with many Catholic martyrs, death
was the beginning of a second life. Pantaleon became the
patron saint of physicians, bachelors, and torture victims,
and now his own name could be invoked to cure a variety
of ailments, as well as to guard against locusts. A member
of the Fourteen Holy Helpers—a sort of league of supersaints
who banded together to fight the Black Death—
Saint Pantaleon’s stock went up dramatically in places like
hard-hit Venice, where a spectacular church was dedicated
to him in thanks for delivering the city from the plague. He
later won even more ardent veneration in the Serenissima
with the advent of the lottery and his designation as the
heavenly provider of winning numbers. San Pantalone
became so identified with the city in fact that his name was
borrowed by the commedia dell’arte for the character of
the prototypically greedy Venetian merchant.
The commedia dell’arte had storylines harking back to
Roman times but was played out as improvisational farce.
Each actor of the troupe dressed in mask and costume as
one of a repertory of stock characters, such as Arlecchino,
easily recognizable in his trademark diamond-patch outfit
and better known to us by his Frenchified name, Harlequin.
The costume signature of Pantalone was a pair of red leggings
that reached the feet, a distinctively Venetian manner
of cladding the legs that audiences outside the Veneto
found odd and remarkable. Over the years and in various
languages, the character’s name was borrowed to describe
varying fashions of long trousers and related garments. This
makes it hard to pin down exactly how and when American
English adapted the anglicized name Pantaloon, but by
the mid-1800s the term had comfortably been shortened
to pants. Around this same time women first began wearing
bloomers, which were advocated as an advancement in
women’s freedom (quite literally, as it was seriously hard to
move in those hoop skirts), most passionately by women’s
rights and temperance activist Amelia Jenks Bloomer.
pi·la·tes n.
A very expensive form of exercise.
Life was tough growing up in 1880s Germany with a name
like Pilates. Pontius Pilate, Killer of Christ! was the sort of
taunt little Joseph Pilates had to put up with from kids in the
school yard, made worse by the fact he was the classic sickly
child, burdened with a plethora of diseases, both medieval
(rickets, rheumatic fever) and modern (asthma). But Joseph
turned it all around like the ninety-pound weakling in a
Charles Atlas ad by throwing himself into bodybuilding,
yoga, gymnastics, and boxing, coming up with his own system
to strengthen and develop key muscles. Pilates came
to America in the 1920s and soon opened a studio in New
York. His “Contrology” method first caught on in the dance
community, attracting such luminaries as Martha Graham
and George Balanchine. It would take more than half a century,
however, for Pilates to hit the mainstream (assuming,
of course, that you consider status-conscious bougie housewives
the mainstream). Once it did, the method became so
popular that competing schools went to court over whether
Pilates was a brand or pilates was a word.
A generic term for a product cannot be trademarked;
in fact, a trademark can be invalidated if a product is so successful
that its name becomes generic. This was enshrined
into law when Judge Learned Hand stripped the German
company Bayer of its exclusive right to the word aspirin,
which it had trademarked in 1899. Brands whose parent
companies have long had to fight against genericide are
Coke, Kleenex, and Xerox, while nowadays Google works
to stop the media from using google to mean doing an
Internet search. Otherwise their brands might go the way
of zipper, called “hookless fasteners” until B. F. Goodrich
came out with Zipper galoshes in 1923; heroin, a morphine
substitute trademarked by Bayer the year before it came
out with aspirin (so-called because taking it made you feel
like a hero); and pilates, which in 2000 was ruled by the
courts to be free for anyone to use. At least, those of us who
can afford it.*
sil·hou·ette n.
A shape distinctly outlined by background.
While living in London, Étienne de Silhouette stumbled
onto the black-magic secrets of Anglo-Saxon capitalism
and fiscal responsibility. He returned to Paris spreading
the dark gospel, no more popular on the Champs-Élysées
in the mid-1700s than now. Silhouette, however, had the
ear of the royal mistress, Madame de Pompadour, through
whose devices he was elevated to be Contrôleur général des
finances. To pay down the crushing debt being incurred
from the ongoing Seven Years’ War, Silhouette suggested
what amounted to an import of the British Window Tax,
although he wanted to tax doors too, and just about everything
else he could think of. Silhouette also proposed slashing
the pay of bureaucrats—again, never a way into the
Gallic heart—and even ordered the king to melt down the
royal plate.
The most amazing thing about Silhouette’s departure
after nine months in the office was that he lasted so long.
Parisian ridicule of the finance minister didn’t stop with
his fall from grace, and anything made on the cheap was
said to be done à la silhouette, including the then-popular
method of producing a portrait without having to draw, in
which the “artist” traced the subject’s shadow onto a piece
of black paper, cut it out, and stuck it in a frame.
crap·per n.
A toilet; also, in phr. “crapper material,” a
book or magazine meant to be read in the bathroom, e.g.,
this one.
Thomas Crapper is a man yet to receive his due. Most reputable
arbiters of etymology deem urban legend the idea that
he had anything to do with the word crapper. To be sure,
the term crap predates Mr. Crapper. Crappa was a medieval
Latin term meaning “chaff,” from which developed many
variations, all generally meaning something leftover or
garbagey. Crapper as a last name similarly has agricultural
roots: It is a variation on cropper.
The first usage of crap in regards to shit is recorded in
1846, too early for it to have anything to do with Thomas
Crapper, who was not yet ten. Young Crapper, however,
would grow up to be an early purveyor of the flush toilet.
His London firm manufactured thousands of such toilets,
all emphatically marked crapper’s. American servicemen
visiting London during the Great War thought this was the
funniest damn thing they had ever seen, and, according to
one theory, brought back home with them a new word.
It does seem fair to question, however, just how a
plumbing-fixtures manufacturer came by so serendipitous
a surname. Fate? Or was it a case of nominative determinism,
in which Thomas’s surname steered him into his life’s
work? Or did Thomas choose the name Crapper for professional
advantage? Now that would show some serious dedication
to marketing.